Christmas...

Santa has been and delivered some presents for a good little boy! Merry Christmas from my family to yours.

Monday snapshot...

The past weekend we spread some Christmas cheer with some good friends when the kids exchanged presents. James scored a Tonka truck with matching hard hat, shovel, rake and mining pan.

So my Monday snapshot is of James showing off his new hard hat!

If you would like to check out other Monday snapshots click on the PAIL link on the right sidebar or click on http://pailbloggers.com/category/monday-snapshot/

24 weeks...

A little update on Trout's progress.

How far along: 24 weeks, 5 days

Total weight change: Four kilos (approx. 8.8 pounds)

Maternity clothes: I need to get some more singlets and shorts. It has reached 34 degrees Celsius (93 f) here over the past week and the summer is just starting. Let's just say the air conditioning is going to get a workout over the next few months.

Stretch Marks: None yet.

Movement: Feeling a lot more movement over the past few weeks, even BJ has felt a few kicks which he was excited about.

This week we had just put James to bed and BJ and I were talking about how much we love him and BJ said that he couldn't imagine loving someone else as much as he loves James. I'm sure as soon as we see Trout our love will double and there will more than enough for both of our kids!!

I'm still keeping up the pregnancy photos and here is my latest one at twenty four weeks, five days.

Monday Snapshot...

Over the weekend I put up the Christmas Tree during one of James' naps (while BJ supervised). I originally wasn't going to because I was worried about James pulling on the tree and it falling on top of him. Paranoid much?!?!

But BJ talked me into it so we placed it on a small table with his toy box at the base as a bit of a buffer. Once James woke up he put the finishing touch on it.

Here is James (with the help of BJ) putting the star on top of the tree!

And I shouldn't have worried about him pulling the tree down, for the time being he's happy to point and smile at the tree, and other Christmas ornaments I have around the house. So adorable!

This is part of Monday Snapshot over at PAIL. To check it out head to http://pailbloggers.com/category/monday-snapshot/

February Themed Post: Decisions, decisions...

I have been writing this post for almost three months. So when the theme for the PAIL Monthly post was about future plans I thought it might be a good time to finally publish how we are trying to work out what the future plans of our one Frostie (frozen embryo). If you have been following my blog for a little while, you would know that I'm currently 34 weeks along through a surprise pregnancy after TTC for almost three years before our son was born.

James was a frozen embryo and we still currently have a frozen embryo 'on ice'. Since before we were married, BJ and I have always known that we would only want two children. And now with Trout on the way, we have finished our family. So as we get further along this pregnancy we have begun talking about Frostie number two.

In Australia (like most places) we have three options with frozen embryos. To thaw the embryo and let nature take its course. To donate the embryo to science or to donate the embryo to a couple. BJ and I had spoken about what to do with this embryo while I was pregnant with James and at 30 weeks found out I had placenta previa. As with placenta previa there is a chance of the c-section resulting in a hysterectomy. So the idea of me not being able to carry another child did cross our minds.

At the time, before we had seen, held, kissed or cuddled our son, we had both agreed to donate the embryo to science. Now with James talking, walking and laughing we could not imagine not giving our last frozen embryo at least a chance of life. Which means we have begun discussing donating the embryo to another couple.

But it's a huge decision. In the future there may be James' twin, our son or daughter walking around without us being a part of his or her life. It seems surreal. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. To be able to give another infertile couple the chance to have a baby is a wonderful thing. And the more I've read about people donating embryos as well as eggs and sperm separately and also reading about the other side where couple have received the donations, I could see myself making the decision to donate. But when I think about what we would miss out on as this embryo/baby/child/adult grows and what questions we may be asked of the child/adult if we ever meet them, it breaks my heart.

I'm not sure what is available in Australia in terms of 'open' donation. Whether we would get to meet the couple receiving the donation or could have contact with the child if the transfer is successful. And this is another part I'm not sure how I feel about. I probably would like to find out a little about the couple, where they live, what they do for a living, if they follow a religion etc. But I'm not sure I would want information about the transfer or the subsequent child if it was successful. It would be too heartbreaking to see a photo and see yourself or your partner in that child's face. Just another reminder about what you've lost by giving that embryo up.

Which is where we are at the moment, limbo. One day I'll hear a story about how a couple has received a donated embryo and are only weeks away from meeting their little one. And I'll think donation is the way to go and the next day I'll look at James and wonder if Trout will look the same as his/her big brother or be darker like BJ. And then I'll feel sad about Frostie two and how we may never know how they will look.

I'm in two frames of mind about finally making our decision. On one hand at least the decision will be made and I won't have to keep wonder about it. But on the other hand I kinda like being in limbo.

The Monday Snapshot...

Here is my little guy hanging onto the entertainment unit. I just love his little chubby legs!!!

Help, I need somebody...

Are you one of those people who never asks for help? Who just keeps going even though there are people who are more then willing and able to help? I'm one of those people.

The past couple of weeks, with returning to full-time work, trying to fit housework, washing and sleep in with spending time with my husband and baby plus being twenty weeks pregnant, means I'm exhausted! This past weekend I spent all weekend doing washing, cleaning the house and making James' dinners then back to work at 7am on Monday, I kept asking myself when do I spend some quality time with my family?

But I don't ask for help. Why? I'm not sure but I think it's because I see something needs doing and I just do it. Even though I should be spending time with James instead. This past weekend Jas and I had some serious conversations about him helping out more around the house but also about me asking for help more.

I'm not Superwoman I can't do this all by myself and nor should I. Not with a great husband willing to do more. So I need ask for help more because in around four months I'm going to need all the help I can get!

Update...

Here we are on the verge of twenty weeks! So I thought I would do a quick update on Trout's progress.

How far along: 19 weeks, 6 days

Total weight change: Two kilos (approx. 4.5 pounds)

Maternity clothes: Getting some good use of my maternity shorts and shirts. Already in maternity work pants and have borrowed some dresses so I've got something nice to wear to our upcoming Christmas parties!

Stretch Marks: None yet.

Movement: Finally feeling Trout move around. Found out my placenta is on the front so feeling movement might be challenging.

Sleep: Sleeping well apart from the midnight toilet break.

Best Moment This Past Week: Finally feeling movement!

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Having BJ away last week. I did not stop all week, full-time work, looking after James and being pregnant I was so happy when BJ arrived home safe and sound!

Belly Button In or Out: Still in for a while.

Cravings/Aversions: No major cravings this week.

Symptoms: Second trimester goodness at the moment. No heartburn or aversions for the time being anyway!

Now for a nineteen week photo and a photo of my little guy.

Party time...

James turned one on Saturday which called for a celebration! I wanted something colourful and festive so we decided on a Sesame Street theme! I did some research, got some terrific ideas and I was set to make the decorations, food and cake myself. Unfortunately I also returned to work the week before so everything had to be done either the weekend before or at night the week of the party! Luckily BJ is as crazy for a party as I am, so he gave me a hand and even took Friday off so he could get the yard and house clean and tidy for our little guy's big day!

The day turned out great. It's becoming warmer here everyday but we had a beautiful breeze through the back yard making it comfortable for everyone. Everyone had enough to eat and the cake turned out better than I expected!

It was a lot of work but the most important thing was James had a terrific day. He got a lot of love from everyone there and received a few gifts which have now taken over our small house. Now for some photos!

Well where do I start...

We've had a crazy couple of weeks that included a hospital visit, James starting day care and a wedding. So to make sure I cover everything here is my bullet list:

• First I'll start with the hospital visit. A couple of weeks ago I woke up at 4am on Monday morning with an intense need to throw up and poo, with severe stomach cramping. After throwing up and sitting on the toilet for a few hours I started to get really worried about being dehydrated and pregnant so we made a trip to the emergency ward.  After a heap of fluids and anti-nausea medication I was finally released that night.  It was still a few days before I felt back to normal and nearly a week before I felt hungry and could eat an entire meal.  The hospital diagnosed me with gastro and we were so lucky that BJ and James didn't get it as well. 
• Two days after my stint in hospital we flew off to Brisbane for a good friends wedding.  BJ was the groomsmen and he looked so handsome and even got teary eyed during his speech!  We made a family holiday of the trip and took James to the Zoo and the footy! Here are a couple of photos of James hanging out with Dadda at the Zoo and with Mum by the pool!

 

• The wedding was great, busy for me looking after James and catching up with people but everyone was besotted with James so he spent a lot of time on the dance floor with the groom's Mum and Aunties. The wedding was held over lunch so it wrapped up at 6pm which was great for us. By the time it had finished, I took James back to the hotel for dinner and off to sleep.  James really impressed me with his sleep while we were away.  He was so good at night considering during the day his naps were disrupted or missed. 
• Reality hit when we returned home and James started daycare. I don't go back to work for a couple of weeks but to secure his spot he had to start early.  Of course the same time as starting day care, James started to get one of his eye teeth.  So cue runny nose, high temps and being grizzly in general. It's a great centre and he enjoys himself once I head off.  It makes my life a bit easier as well, since it includes meals and nappies so the only thing he needs to take are a change of clothes and his lunchtime bottle.
• Today I'm officially seventeen weeks.  Where has the time gone?!?!?!  When I was pregnant with James I regretted not taking more photos of me growing, so I've vowed to take more photos this time.  Here is me at fifteen weeks. With my little belly. 

• James also turns one next weekend so we are having a party to celebrate!  We have my family coming to visit and spend some time with us, so I'm really looking forward to it! 

 

Nearly as much as I love this little guy...

Who wouldn't turn around for a photo.

Love this...

Introducing Trout...

Here is the first photo of our little miracle at 12w 2d. We have now recovered from the initial shock of this pregnancy and are getting excited! I think seeing him/her on the monitor looking like a little baby helped with the realization that I was pregnant again.

Trout passed all the NT testing well and is low risk. Like James we aren't interested in finding out the sex so we'll have a little surprise when they get here! My due date was confirmed as the 27th March 2013 but Dr J has recommended I have another c-section so Trout will be coming a little earlier than this.

We've started telling James about becoming a big brother, telling him the baby is in Mumma's belly and showing him the ultrasound photos. He's still too young to understand of course but I think talking and as my belly gets bigger telling him this is where the baby is, will help him when Trout makes his/her arrival. I've read about parents giving their children a baby doll to get them used to a new sibling but I don't think BJ would go for it.

In other news James starts Day Care on the 2nd October (the 1st is a public holiday in Queensland, Australia). I've been dreading him starting but it's just a fact of life I have to go back to work and I've been lucky enough to have had nearly twelve months off with him. He is such a wonderful kid and we are learning new things about him all the time. Soon he will be one and then a big brother, so like always, I'm just enjoying my time with him while he still wants hugs from me.

First Fathers Day...

On Sunday BJ celebrated his first Fathers Day. He is never one to make a fuss or ask for anything, but James and I got him a present for being such an awesome Father that wasn't boring socks or jocks! We spent the day together as a family at home doing light chores and watching BJ's footy team win.

I really don't know I would do without BJ. Parenting is such a two person job, I'm so thankful I have such a great partner to not only share my life and our children together but who really completes me as a person. Which sounds a bit cheesy but we are just like best friends who have ridden the highs and lows together.

Here are my two guys together at BJ's work. James is showing BJ the ropes.

Screen time...

This is part of PAIL monthly post for August. For more information please tap on the PAIL button on my sidebar. How much screen time is acceptable for your children?

Growing up I remember not having a limit on how much television I and my siblings could watch. But considering this was during the time in Australia where we only had three TV channels and most of the day time television was not for children, our days were spent outside playing.

As we grew up I remember spending time in front of the TV after school and after our homework was completed. Maybe watching more during school holidays but again there wasn't much on for kids so it was more interesting playing outside especially once we got a pool!

I'm not unrealistic about the role TV, computers and phones will play in my kid(s) life. We enjoy watching sport, documentaries, the news and the odd comedy as a way to unwind at the end of the day so I'm not going to deprive James of watching TV alongside us.

Times have changed since I was a kid and now we have hundreds of channels including children only channels that kids could sit in front of all day. As James grows and becomes more aware of the TV, I will have to set rules in place on when, what and how much he can watch. I don't see the need to have a TV in his room (I never had one growing up) and he won't have a phone until he can pay for it himself.

I think some children's television is okay like Ses.ame Street, Play School (an Australian program where they do craft, read books and sing songs) and some cartoons. But I despise programs like the Wigg.les, Do.ra the Explorer etc where it really is like a marketing tool to reel kids in. You can't just watch the program you have to buy the DVDs, games, tickets to the stage show (which for a Wigg.les concert are around A$45 each!) and even clothes.

As for computers, this is tricky since a lot of school work these days is done on the computer and he will need these skills when he gets older. I guess I will have to assess the situation when it comes up and like TV probably set ground rules on when, what and how much time he can spend playing.

Like everything in life I believe everything in moderation and I hope I can show James the joys in reading a good book, building a cubby house, running through a sprinkler and building towns out of Le.go that I enjoyed growing up.

Weaning...

In Australia, the definition of weaning is moving on from breastfeeding to formula or cows milk.

Nothing makes me prouder to have been able to breastfeed. And even though I had some struggles (like most woman) thankfully I was able to over come them. I was then able to continue BF'ing James exclusively for the first six months and with the occasional formula feed after six months when I was out or away from him. It has now become time to me to finish up with breastfeeding. I'm ready. On a few levels. I'm ready to wear normal shirts and bras (without breast pads!). I'm ready for my nipples not to be bitten (TMI?). I'm ready for my breast not to be exposed every time James has a look around.

It's taken four weeks but we are finally coming to the end of the weaning process. James is still having four milk feeds a day, so every week I would move one milk feed to formula. This week is our last week, the morning feed was the last to give up.

James has handled it well. Barely noticing the change. He has been exposed to bottles before we started weaning so it wasn't a totally new concept but I still thought there would a resistance of sort.

It does make me a little sad that we are moving on but I think it's more of 'my baby doesn't need me anymore' than anything else. But I know he can't wipe his bum, so I'm not out of a job yet!

Future Olympic Swimmer...

Well maybe not but he's pretty cute in his swimmers!

I finally got my arse into gear and enrolled James into swimming classes. The downside was I also have to put togs (swimmers) on and join him in the pool. But it's motivation to lose a couple of kilos plus I love being in the water.

James just loves being in the water. As soon as we get in he's splashing and kicking around. Which makes it hard to hang onto him. BJ was free this week so he came down with us and was able to take some photos of our future Olympian!

Toothbrush...

Last photo of the month. Mine and James' toothbrushes. Thanks for sharing some the trivial images that go through my day!

Surprise...

In my July PAIL post about Family Building, I wrote about how our FS had advised to try, the old fashioned way, for six months before coming back for Frostie 2. Well two months in and I'm pregnant! "How the fu*k did that happen" are some of the first words that I said. After crying, kissing and hugging BJ and James, of course. Like an urban myth, how do you try for two years have one failed fresh IVF cycle and never get pregnant, not once. Than have a positive FET and pregnancy and two months into the trying/not trying get pregnant??? Who the hell knows but I'm sure glad it did!!!

I have held off telling people for a couple of reasons until I saw my OB for the 'how did that happen' appointment and when I could see Trout (BJ has called it Trout because it must be a strong swimmer! Gross and cute) on an ultrasound. The main reason was I just couldn't believe it. Three HPT tests wasn't enough convincing for me, I wanted to see it with my own eyes. Secondly I wanted the surprise announcement. As most of you know when you're going through fertility treatments all your friends and family are waiting on every result so we never got the 'surprise we're pregnant' announcement which, for some reason, I really wanted.

After my appointment with Dr J, my due date is the 27th March 2013, which will be confirmed in a couple of weeks. It was amazing seeing this little person on the screen without needing any fertility assistance. I'll admit it was daunting realizing my kids will only be seventeen months apart but I hope all the things I've learnt with James will make the second time around easier. But for the time being I'm just glad to be feeling better, the last few weeks I've been feeling yuck. Not physically sick but not good. Like a hangover without the good time.

Lastly I wanted to thank you for all the PAIL comments after my original post. Sometimes being an IF'er does feel lonely and you think you are the only one who is going through these things. It's so comforting to know there are others out there going through the same situations, thoughts and feelings.

Calm...

Little man snoozing! Makes for one calm Mummy!

Last thing I brought...

Pink lady apples! Yum yum!

Cup...

The cutest cup around!

On the road...

I took this photo on the way down to my local supermarket from Mum's and Dad's. As you can see Mum and Dad live a bit out of town. It's sugar cane crushing time here so you can see the cane on the right and the baskets (that transfer the cane to the mills) to the left. Hope you all have a good weekend!

Sunshine...

Keeping cool in the sun.

Heart...

My heart belongs to this little guy!

Stranger...

Taking a photo of a stranger is a daunting experience. So I've decided to use a photo that I took a couple of weeks ago on our big weekend at the V8 Supercars. I took this in the pits where you can get up and personal with the cars, their trucks and drivers. A bit like Lighting McQueen and Mack from the movie Cars! Check out all these strangers!

Mirror...

This photo is my little guy and I, first up in the morning. We are both a little doughy eyed. Love my little guy first up in the morning.

Upside down...

I was going to take a photo of me upside down and after a few attempts I realized it's not a good look! So I got one of James' toys instead!

9 o'clock...

There are two 9 o'clocks so I've got two photos today of 9am and 9pm. James was too interested in BJ mowing to eat his breakfast this morning at 9am. And we had dinner over at my parents-in-law and since it's winter here, a lovely night for a fire.

Eyes...

I'm a brown eyed girl and my little man is a blue eyed boy.

Baby brain...

Have you ever been accused of baby/pregnancy brain. Where for the life of you, you can't remember where you put your keys, let alone your purse/wedding ring/glasses/baby. Therefore making you late every time you leave the house?

Lately I've found myself turning the keys to start my car and then having to make two or three trips back into the house to get things I've forgotten. No matter how much I prepare before we head out I always seem to forget something and I think I know the reason.

I believe everyone can remember a list of around eight things, maximum, at one time. Before you had a baby the list may have looked like this:

Keys
Handbag
Sunglasses
Purse
Phone
Shoes
Wedding ring
Earrings

Now since James comes with me everywhere, I have to remember all his things before I can start to think about my list. Now my list looks like this:

Baby snacks
Nappy (diaper) stuff
Drink bottle
Lunch (if we are going out for longer)
Bib
Spoons
Facecloths
Toys
Trolley seat
As well as all my stuff!

No wonder I can't remember my keys!

Pet...

This is Ralph and James playing. Ralph is still getting use to James being around. He usually doesn't pay James much attention but every once in a while he'll come over for a pat.

Plate...

Last nights dinner, chicken enchiladas. With extra salsa of course! Delicious!

Your addiction...

I have two at the moment. The first is taking photos of James pulling funny faces and the second is chocolate!

Sign...

I've been trying to use Auslan (Australian sign language) for basic everyday tasks to teach James. I haven't had any success yet but who knows his first sign might be tomorrow!

Family building PAIL Monthly Post...

Before BJ and I got married we had talked several times about how many children we wanted. From a young age I always wanted only one child. But as I grew up, I become to really value my relationships with my siblings and couldn't imagine denying any children we had of this special relationship that you have with a brother or sister. So we compensated and then agreed to two children.

So after nearly eighteen months of marriage we were ready to become parents! Only for it to take three years to finally have a baby in our arms. Luckily enough we still have one frozen embryo left which will hopefully complete our family! So it's not really the "when are you having another baby?" question that we get but the "when are you going to get Frosty Two transferred?".

Well that was my first question at my six week check up with Dr J. And his recommendation was to start trying the old fashion way after nine months, for six months and then come back and see him. So we are planning, if there isn't a miracle conception, on a February 2013 transfer. We have been trying but not trying for the past couple of months without any luck (that's a whole other post) so no doubt we'll be heading back to Dr J next year. On a side note, after seeing Dr J (who's our FS and OB) constantly for nearly two years, BJ said to me last week that he was missing Dr J!

On 'optimal' spacing between children, I go back to my own family. My siblings and I are approximately 20 months apart which I thought was ideal. This of course is what infertility affects. No matter what spacing we have in mind, this is nearly out of our control. There are no guarantees with fertility treatments. Just because a FET has brought a wonderful little boy into our lives doesn't mean it will work again. Which means we will have to decide if our drive to have another baby is strong enough for more treatments.

Of course I am emotionally guarded when it comes to extending our family. Even though we have only started trying again, the negative what ifs have sprung up and I've starting thinking about James being an only child. I am hoping this won't be the case but am truly thankful to be James' mother and what will be, will be.

This is a part of the PAIL Monthly post for July. To learn more about PAIL please click on the PAIL icon at the side of my home page.

Finger...

Here is my ring finger, with my engagement and wedding rings.

Building...

For James' first birthday, BJ is building this pedal car!

Open...

If you open our back door this is the view. Have a good weekend!

Favourite texture...

Wood. I love the feel and look of wood.

Favourite letter...

The letter 'K' of course!

Favourite colour...

My favourite colour is red. A couple of days before James was born I made this wall hanging for the nursery. Since we didn't know the sex of the baby I used red as the backing as it would suit either a boy or a girl.

Big...

These are the tickets and lanyards from my big weekend. Once a year the V8 supercars (the cars are kind of like NAS.CAR but they race on similar tracks as Indy and Formula One) come to our city and have a couple of races. We have a whole group of people that we go with ever year. So this year (after much debating with myself) I decided to leave James with willing babysitters (his Grandparents) and BJ had a couple of days enjoying the racing. I'll admit it was hard leaving him for eight hours a day but it was nice doing something we enjoy together.

Hope you all had a good weekend!