Before BJ and I got married we had talked several times about how many children we wanted. From a young age I always wanted only one child. But as I grew up, I become to really value my relationships with my siblings and couldn't imagine denying any children we had of this special relationship that you have with a brother or sister. So we compensated and then agreed to two children.
So after nearly eighteen months of marriage we were ready to become parents! Only for it to take three years to finally have a baby in our arms. Luckily enough we still have one frozen embryo left which will hopefully complete our family! So it's not really the "when are you having another baby?" question that we get but the "when are you going to get Frosty Two transferred?".
Well that was my first question at my six week check up with Dr J. And his recommendation was to start trying the old fashion way after nine months, for six months and then come back and see him. So we are planning, if there isn't a miracle conception, on a February 2013 transfer. We have been trying but not trying for the past couple of months without any luck (that's a whole other post) so no doubt we'll be heading back to Dr J next year. On a side note, after seeing Dr J (who's our FS and OB) constantly for nearly two years, BJ said to me last week that he was missing Dr J!
On 'optimal' spacing between children, I go back to my own family. My siblings and I are approximately 20 months apart which I thought was ideal. This of course is what infertility affects. No matter what spacing we have in mind, this is nearly out of our control. There are no guarantees with fertility treatments. Just because a FET has brought a wonderful little boy into our lives doesn't mean it will work again. Which means we will have to decide if our drive to have another baby is strong enough for more treatments.
Of course I am emotionally guarded when it comes to extending our family. Even though we have only started trying again, the negative what ifs have sprung up and I've starting thinking about James being an only child. I am hoping this won't be the case but am truly thankful to be James' mother and what will be, will be.
This is a part of the PAIL Monthly post for July. To learn more about PAIL please click on the PAIL icon at the side of my home page.
Here from PAIL. I too am heading towards an FET soon. My RE didn't even mention trying on our own. And we really want to make use of my frozen tots. The idea of starting again so soon after my daughter was born is kind of daunting, but we also know the chances of getting lucky the first time around is pretty slim. Yes we got lucky on our first IVF, but after 5 IUI's only one of which lead to pregnancy, ultimately ending in a chemical miscarriage, we want to start sooner rather than later...and we're old. I hope Frosty Two works to complete your family.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Frosty. :) That's an awesome name! I hope that you are able to give your little guy a sibling. Having one is wonderful, but if you still feel like you are supposed to have more, it's painful to wonder if they'll ever get here.
ReplyDeleteHere from PAIL :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, it really sucks that we all have to build in the possibility of "it will probably take more treatment to get pregnant, but we'll probably have to try on our own for __ months before the doctors will let us try treatments again." So do you start EARLY and risk getting pregnant before you want so you can start treatments "on time," or do you wait and end up way "behind" schedule? Urgh.
I always wonder why docs tell us to start trying naturally again for X months when we have an IF diagnosis sitting right there. It's very curious.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope Frostie 2 works for you so that you don't need to contemplate going through a fresh cycle again if/until you are ready. xo
hope the frostie transfer is a success for you if a miracle pregnancy doesn't pop up in the meantime!
ReplyDeleteIt does suck to have to try on your own for x number of months before heading back to the doc - one of the reasons we started back as soon as we could