Before BJ and I got married we had talked several times about how many children we wanted. From a young age I always wanted only one child. But as I grew up, I become to really value my relationships with my siblings and couldn't imagine denying any children we had of this special relationship that you have with a brother or sister. So we compensated and then agreed to two children.
So after nearly eighteen months of marriage we were ready to become parents! Only for it to take three years to finally have a baby in our arms. Luckily enough we still have one frozen embryo left which will hopefully complete our family! So it's not really the "when are you having another baby?" question that we get but the "when are you going to get Frosty Two transferred?".
Well that was my first question at my six week check up with Dr J. And his recommendation was to start trying the old fashion way after nine months, for six months and then come back and see him. So we are planning, if there isn't a miracle conception, on a February 2013 transfer. We have been trying but not trying for the past couple of months without any luck (that's a whole other post) so no doubt we'll be heading back to Dr J next year. On a side note, after seeing Dr J (who's our FS and OB) constantly for nearly two years, BJ said to me last week that he was missing Dr J!
On 'optimal' spacing between children, I go back to my own family. My siblings and I are approximately 20 months apart which I thought was ideal. This of course is what infertility affects. No matter what spacing we have in mind, this is nearly out of our control. There are no guarantees with fertility treatments. Just because a FET has brought a wonderful little boy into our lives doesn't mean it will work again. Which means we will have to decide if our drive to have another baby is strong enough for more treatments.
Of course I am emotionally guarded when it comes to extending our family. Even though we have only started trying again, the negative what ifs have sprung up and I've starting thinking about James being an only child. I am hoping this won't be the case but am truly thankful to be James' mother and what will be, will be.
This is a part of the PAIL Monthly post for July. To learn more about PAIL please click on the PAIL icon at the side of my home page.