It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

In Queensland (Australia) Christmas looks like a ton of rain and hot, humid days!  But I love Christmas, especially since this year it will be spent with my family!  BJ and I have alternate Christmas’ with our families since my family live four hours away.  So we will travel down to Mum and Dad’s on Christmas Eve and spend the next week hanging out with family, eating and playing cards!  My favourite part of Christmas, besides the presents (giving and receiving) is the food.  It’s a great excuse to eat all the goodies that I usually keep at a distance during the year.  And it’s also a great excuse to make all the goodies!  This year I’ve already made three batches of rum balls, two batches of mini puddings and a gingerbread house!!!

In saying that, since my FET is in early February 2011, I need to start eating better and stop drinking.  Not the easiest thing to do around the holidays but I’d give up chocolate and beer forever if it meant making my baby dreams come true!

In more fertility news, AF has started so I’m on the pill until the 26 January 2011. I’m excited that my cycles have come back to normal so quickly after the IVF, as I know some girls have problems that can cause delays with their subsequent treatments.   I’m also excited to get moving with the FET as I feel good about our chances, I just hope our little guy defrosts well enough to transfer.   I know FET chances are slimmer that IVF, has anybody got any good results from FET to boost my spirits???

Since this will be my last post until 2011, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a fantastic New Year.  And in the words of “999 reasons to laugh at infertility”:

You can’t change what happened last year but you will dive into 2011 stronger, more hopeful and determined than ever before.

Infertility, we are going to kick your ass this year! Be afraid.

Belly Envy and other things

I have belly envy.  Everywhere I go I’m always checking out other woman’s bellies.  It’s a vicious cycle that usually goes something like this...

I’m at the supermarket/walking hounddog/picking up dinner and there is a woman (aged anywhere from 16-60), I check out their tummy and (I swear) nine times out of ten they’ve got a giant belly!  I feel so jealous, ask myself why can’t that be me, then I start to think maybe they also went through infertility and they have finally got their BFP, then I feel bad.  I told you, a vicious cycle!  It’s funny how you can’t get something, baby, house, good job and everybody seems to have it but you!

In saying that, I don’t feel jealous when I see a baby or small children???  Maybe it’s because I always think if I hold a baby, play with a child that something good will rub off onto me?  Does anybody else feel like this or am I wired wrong??

In fertility news, I’m back on the wagon in preparation for the FET in February.  I had my first acupuncture session since the BFN.  It was great, for a needle freak, I really enjoy going to acupuncture.  It’s an hour that I get to myself to relax.  I usually visualise myself pregnant, getting the baby’s room ready, telling my parents the good news etc.  There were a couple of differences from the last time I had seen him.  For one, I asked him to treat me for stress as well.  I’ve never had a stress problem, but found with my IVF treatment last time, I had to deal with a higher amount of stress at work.  So I was nervous with my FET, this time around, that any stress may affect the treatment, so I’ve asked him to help me with that.  The other thing was he has prescribed two Dang Gui & Peony Formula twice a day.  I’m happy to try anything to help me out but has anybody else taken these type of Chinese herbs before? 

Catch Up

Hello, I’m a long time reader, first time blogger!  Just a bit of information about me to get you caught up.  As my profile states, BJ and I have been TTC since October 2008.  We sought professional help through a GP after around six months because I knew something was wrong.  My cycles had always been regular and I had been tracking my temperature showing clear ovulation around day 14/15.  BJ was the first to be tested and bingo, a hurdle.  Even though his sperm count was normal, his little fellows weren’t in the best shape for swimming.   So he started all the conventional things to help men out, boxers or commando instead of jocks, taking multivitamins, he isn’t a smoker so that wasn’t a factor, no warm spas etc. 

After another six months BJ was tested again, with no change.  I decided we needed professional help so we were referred to a Fertility Specialist.  More testing for BJ was in order and I was booked in for ultrasounds and blood tests.  BJ’s results showed no improvement, no surprise there.  My blood tests came back all normal but my ultrasounds showed a growth off my uterus which would need to be removed.  So I was booked in for a laparoscopy and die test, two weeks before Christmas.  During the laparoscopy the growth was successfully removed, a small amount of endometriosis was removed and the die tests came back normal.

After another six months we went back to the FS and were told, with BJ’s problems and since we’d been trying for this long, IVF would be our only chance of conceiving.  I had already starting thinking down this track for a while so it didn’t come as a shock for me but BJ was devastated.  He kept saying sorry and it was his fault but as far as I was concerned it was our problem and we had to deal with it together. 

So in October this year (two years after we started TTC) we went through our first round of IVF.  Apart from the result (a BFN) and the 2WW, the whole experience brought us closer together.  BJ was great administering all my injections (I’m not crazy about needles), calming me down when we found out I only had seven follicles, looking after me after the egg pick up and celebrating with me when six out of eight eggs fertilised!  BJ was so proud when we got the good news especially since the fertility group didn’t even have to use ICSI.  After five days, six turned into three and I had one embryo transferred, and two put on ice.  My transfer went well and we were so excited that this would finally be it.  But I started bleeding heavily nine days later and a negative result was confirmed with a blood test. 

We were totally upset, as we held such high expectations but continue to remain positive with the help of our two frosties.  We had the option to have a FET in November but we had already booked a holiday for the same time, so we head back for the FET in February 2011.